“You just have to trust!”: The last weeks of the General Congregation

The past two weeks of the General Congregation have been intense, tense, frustrating, exhilarating, a roller coaster of conflicting emotions. Sessions in the aula have become, at the same time, more tedious and more exciting. One fluctuates between uplifting consolation and discouraging desolation.

We are in the final stages of writing, arguing about, and approving the official documents of the Congregation. It is clear that we want to say something that will really be helpful for the life and mission of the Society. We want to say something that will be truly meaningful for our brother Jesuits and our many dedicated partners.

The problem is that, with our diverse personalities, contexts and concerns, we can differ so vastly and so passionately in our conceptions of what will be helpful and meaningful. The issues discussed are so important and delicate that these differences evoke much emotion.


Plus we have been at it now for eight weeks. Nerves aregetting frayed. It sometimes gets harder to listen and attempt to understand each other. The poor drafters of documents get clobbered with critique in the aula and then have to rewrite, incorporating our diverse and sometimes contradictory directives, and under enormous pressure of time. Translators of complex and not exactly short drafts (all drafts have to come out in English, Spanish and French) have to finish their difficult work virtually overnight.

PLUS the viruses have come back for a second round of malicious mischief, downing some of us again (like myself--I was out with fever again yesterday afternoon, but am better today, mercifully). In the quiet moments of prayer or reflection in the aula, the coughing and sneezing and hawking never stop. “This place sounds like a goshdarned (expletive softened) hospital!” one delegate remarked.

There have been moments of consolation however: moments of sudden illumination, of surprising consensus or unanimity of opinion, of clear unity in what matters most. These are moments when it is easy to believe in the presence and guidance of the Spirit.

In the midst of all this, I hold on to what one of the younger delegates from Spain told me a few weeks ago. After one particularly difficult session, as we were doing the inevitable post mortem on the dynamics and opinions, I asked him what he felt.

“You just have to trust!” he said spontaneously. He said it with such earnestness and from such an evident purity of heart that I felt ashamed of my negativity and was deeply edified.

That was some weeks ago. A few days ago, after another round of intense debate, I asked him as we both headed out of the aula: “You still trust?”

“All the more!” he said, with utter sincerity.

At moments like this, I know that the Spirit is speaking. I pray daily for patience, for trust, for a hopeful spirit, for love for the Society of Jesus and our partners, in whose service we are doing all this.