Yesterday, I shared the first part of a long unread letter dated 1 December 1988, written when I was 29 year old, in which I recounted to my sister in the States the events surrounding my father's passing away on November 13, 1988--twenty years ago this year. I continue and conclude with an account of the wake, the funeral and the ninth day novena. I share this in memory of my father, but also as a witness to the grace and love that God's goodness draws from pain and grief.1 December 1988
. . .The wake was a great consolation for all of us. So many of Dad's friends--many of whom we did not know at all--came and told us stories about Dad's high school and college days in La Salle and Ateneo; or told us many good things about Dad--about his humor, his friendliness, the help he had given them. So many of our friends--your friends, too--came to be with us. Over a hundred wreaths arrived, and the chapel of the church in Green Meadows was filled with flowers. Kamayan sent food and waiters, and on Tuesday night, Dad's rotary club sponsored the Mass and sent food. The Cardinal [Cardinal Sin] came to bless Daddy. Every night, at the 8 PM novena Masses, an average of about 7 Jesuits would concelebrate with me, and the Jesuit scholastics would lead the singing. Even our novices (who, as you know, are normally "quarantined" in Novaliches) came. On Wednesday night, Franny's "Days with the Lord" friends from Xavier School led the singing.
We buried Daddy on Thursday, November 17. The funeral services were very solemn and beautiful. About 28 priests came to concelebrate at the 830 AM Mass (about 25 were brother Jesuits--I was very moved by this support); and the Barangka Choir, that had sung at my Thanksgiving Mass, was conducted by Vic de Jesus and sang beautifully. I preached the homily, and Ako John gave a very moving speech of thanksgiving that spoke of how full Daddy's life had been in the past year, and how his passing away came at a time in his life when he had so much to be thankful for. We were all in tears when Ako John finally said good-bye to Dad for all of us.
And then something happened, something I'm sure Daddy had a hand in. After Ako spoke, I spent a few moments recollecting myself, and then went to the altar to announce that I would now bless Dad's body. As I very solemnly walked down the steps from the sanctuary, I tripped on the carpet--I actually found myself sitting on the steps! The atmosphere of sorrow suddenly lightened: Mom and the others could not help smiling; I myself was smiling ear to ear as I blessed Dad's body! I was remembering how much Dad enjoyed the similar way you fell in the parking lot of Mt. Carmel Church many years ago--remember? I could not help feeling that Dad, who loved a good and corny joke more than anyone else, was somehow behind this little incident. (Of course, Peter thinks it was my own stupidity that was behind it, but maybe both Dad's corniness and my clumsiness worked together!) I presided over the final blessing at Manila Memorial Park--no accidents this time!
That evening, I happened to pass by the guest room at around 630 PM. The lights were off, but I thought I heard someone sniffling inside. I went in, and there, lying on the sofa was Franny, quietly crying in the dark, staring at the light from the street lamp coming in through the window. I sat beside him, held his hand, and asked if he missed Daddy. He nodded yes, and we just sat there in the dark together for a few minutes. That night, Franny slept between Mom and me in Mom and Dad's bed.
We continued the novena Masses at Mary the Queen Church, and ended on Monday, Nov. 21. As usual, so many of Dad's friends came to be with us. Our great benefactors that night were Xavier School and Kamayan. Xavier really decorated the high school gym beautifully with colored lights, silver and gold palms, Chinese lanterns, and even a Chinese arch one had to pass through to enter the gym! Kamayan catered gratis et amore--Tito Tito Eduque insisted--and served us lechon de leche, inihaw na manok, kare-kare, pancit malabon, rellenong bangus, etc--the works! For about 250 guests, they provided over 60 waiters--all of whom were chosen because Daddy knew each of them personally! Coca-cola, care of Tito Nano Limjap, provided all the soft drinks for free as well. So much to be grateful for.
Let me end here, Atchi, I hope this little report of mine helps you; certainly, through all these events, you were very much part of us . . . Dad is with the Lord and this conviction has given us peace in the midst of our pain. He is with us too--with you, as well---but he is with us in a new way, a non-physical way, which it takes time for us to get used to and accept. . . . I pray that you may sense Dad's loving, fatherly presence near you always . . .
I leave tomorrow for Ipil, but will be back on December 20, to spend Christmas with the family. I hope I can talk to you over the phone then to personally wish you a happy Christmas!
Much love,
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