A Moment of Thankfulness

At the end of this day of work, I spent some time going over more papers and folders in my office, part of the Herculean task of clearing out stuff in time for the new Provincial to take over the premises by June 12--a mere ten days from now! 

As usually happens when I pore over the accumulated debris of the centuries, I found myself constantly distracted from my more immediate task by a bit memorabilia here or a scrap of a letter there that I had not seen in years and which opened the floodgates of memory. 

This evening, I found a long talk I gave to the Province on January 1, 2004, a few weeks after it was announced that I was to serve as the next Provincial. I re-read these words that I wrote six months before I took office:

Fr. Doan secretly told me of the General’s decision [to appoint me Provincial] on Nov. 24, 2003, the day after Christ the King. I found myself numb in the first few days, burdened by an overwhelming sense of my limitations, fearful of the future and the enormous challenges ahead.  But in the forty-eight hours after the official announcement on Dec. 3, the torrent of kind encouragement that the brethren have given me has consoled and strengthened me to face the unknown future with some peace. 

For example, Bobby Yap called immediately and he simply repeated: “Danny, basta trust in the grace of the office. Trust in the grace of the office.” Fr. Arevalo sent me several messages that always contained the same final word: “Corragio!” Vic de Jesus just listened to me patiently while I ventilated about my fears concerning my limitations. The good thing about old friends is that they do not allow you to remain in illusion and the one sentence I most remember from Vic is: “Yes, Danny, I know all about your limitations”--even while he continued to encourage and confirm! Albert Alejo texted me a message that moved me very much: “Danny, malalim ang saya ko.” My favorite greeting came from one scholastic who texted: “I pledge my allegiance to you as provincial”—and I found myself laughingly asking myself, "Áno ako, flag?" Another texted me, “For what it’s worth, I will try to be a good and obedient subject,” and still another said, “I promise to try to be good so as not to add to your problems”—which, when you think about it, is a really generous promise! So many brothers, from varying age groups and communities, texted, emailed, wrote messages that conveyed the same consoling message: “I am praying for you. You can rely on me for support and help.”

Now that it is almost over, I look back and smile. Was I really that frightened four years ago? 

More importantly, I am moved by wonder and gratitude. My brothers, on the whole, have come through.It is only because of them that I have made it to this point of soon joining the happy ranks of ex-Provincials. Through these years, they have been faithful to their promises of support. God has made his kindness and fidelity real to me through them.

Deo gratias.